I have the Life I Always Dreamed Of
How I did I accomplish this? And Why I feel guilt sometimes?
I have the Life I Always Dreamed Of. Created with Adobe Express
I have a family, a loving spouse, children, health to enjoy my wildest hobbies, a well-paid job, and financial stability.
This is what I always dreamed of.
But I sometimes feel guilty… Like I am an impostor, or like I don’t deserve it.
Most of my friends from back home are struggling with some things. Some don’t have financial stability, but a family. Others have a career they love, but no kids.
Why am I so lucky to have it all? (and knock on wood it stays this way?)
But while luck always plays a role, I have to recognize that I have been willing to go through what others wouldn’t go through to get to this point.
I didn’t stay in abusive relationships just so that I could have someone next to me.
I waited to have kids for years, even when my instincts were calling for it, to make sure I created a stable background first.
I left everything behind when opportunities for career growth appeared, and I learned to enjoy new lives.
I went through four Trans-Oceanic moves, chasing my dream career and job.
I stayed active and cultivated my physical and mental health, even when I was too busy, didn’t feel like it or just wanted to give up.
I cultivated my hobbies and made sure I had a fun time every single week.
This doesn’t take my guilt away. But makes me realize that while I feel very lucky right now, I have been uncomfortable, and sometimes even borderline miserable, when others weren’t willing to go through the same.
So instead, I try to remind myself that what I have right now, is the pay-off of what I’ve been cultivating for years. It is the product of sacrifice, hard work, and a certain mindset.